On the ‘roids
I hate going to the doctors. My wife and I both have a white coat phobia dating back to around 7 years ago. When I do go something has to be pretty much about to drop off and even then I try to talk myself out of it “It’s not really green and oozing, it’s just how the light is hitting it”. Also I make sure I get complete value for money by going with a list of ailments (real and/or perceived). Did I mention I was a hypochondriac?
This visit I walked away after five minutes with a prescription for antibiotics (to stop my face falling off), steroids (to stop my nose exploding) and more steroids (to stop my hair falling out). Not a bad trip in a bang-for-buck sense. Even with the good-ol’ NHS though that was a pretty expensive 5mins.
Now I am not exactly “muscular” as anyone who has ever seen me in sportswear (a rare sight I admit) will attest. I have visions of rubbing and spraying these chemicals and appearing a week later built like Governor Arnie. Apparently, my wife informs me, this is unlikely. Although my “manhood” may be adversely affected as a possible side effect.Another potential side effect is apparently mood swings. My moods are pretty wild already. They can swing from “apathetic” to “mildy miffed” most days. Look out world, the Hulk is coming. Just watch out Barista if I don’t get enough caramel on my macchiato, I might have to write a strongly worded letter to your shift supervisor!
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